Blog

Don’t give up – Tomorrow is just a day away

/ uchenna

It wasn’t, but a few years ago that I had returned to the US from the UK in bad health. At 32 I had suffered a stroke, and despite being about 100lbs heavier at the time (about 315lbs), no one knew why. It sounds funny, but it’s true.

My doctor in the US (Dr. Adewumni of Zenith Medical center, Lanham MD) saved my life! While on my journey down the scale, I was soon back on the job market.

Little did I know that my job search journey would be the beginning of my next challenge – 3 year wait full of inexplicable rejections and the birth of a false identity of being useless. It was one of the most challenging seasons of my life.

On one hand I was losing weight, and on the other I was still not good enough despite my great skills and experiences. “Shattering” is a word I used often during that time.

Nevertheless, despite the discouragement, I decided early on the attitude I would adopt. A lot changed after that. I have no doubt it was largely due to the family and friends I leaned on for encouragement and financial, emotional and spiritual support. I learned a lot about myself and confronted myself in ways I never would have otherwise. It was grueling but (in hindsight) beautiful.

I had many opportunities to lie, cheat, take short cuts and compromise my integrity just to get off the waiting bench. I didn’t. Despite being stuck, I knew what mattered most to me, and for me it was being right before God. It mattered so much that I decided to make a website that showcased who I was and what I stand for. Perhaps it was a call to my future and a line by which I would measure the right company for me (all of me).

In the meantime, I dug deeper, dared more (https://uchennaebilah.com/my-stand/), prayed harder, served more, asked for help more, grew in authenticity, communicated better, worked harder, grew in patience, and grew in faith (in myself and God).

When the wait ended, it was clear how much purpose was planned (by God) into that small window of my life – things that now make me naturally predisposed to grace, kindness, patience, advocacy, pro-activity, integrity, mercy and other traits I feel happy to possess that make me human, sensitive, passionate and bold!

Career-wise, I went from being on the bench to winning my client’s admiration at the FDA (as a Junior PM) through many many stories leading up to today.

As I write this, I am humbled to announce that I will be starting my dream job (in this season) as a Senior PM at my dream company, Red Ventures.

A new journey is starting for me this week, but it is a culmination of many other journeys that had to occur first to prepare me so that such a blessing would not get squandered. I still have a LONG LONG journey ahead with many successes ahead, and I feel blessed and excited to have landed in the right company (family) to go on that journey with me.

Why am I sharing all this?
1. To give thanks to GOD (first) – my best friend, savior, Lord and Master who has loved me deeply, in spite of myself. Then to ALL the people who were with me through the journey. Those days were dark, but you were my light. I’m too scared to make a list and leave out even one name. It’s too important. Also many aren’t on social media. I mean cherish you all, and I know God put you in my story as a blessing. Even those that harbor hate and cursed me, you don’t realize but you are still a tool God uses for my blessing, and for that I love you nonetheless.

2. I need to talk to the person that is still reading this, and is at a stage in life that feels like quicksand. If you feel stuck, perhaps tired of waiting for that big break, perhaps feeling hopeless and you want to check out… Please listen to me for a moment. Know (and be thrilled by) this – you may never get another season of “pause” like this in your life.

Instead of hating it, take a moment and consider what you could possibly get out of it that would be of great value when you finally are on the other side of this situation.

Consider what it is that you can discover in this season about yourself (ie. how you think, what you believe, how you work, how you treat people, how you treat yourself, what you value, what you are good at, what you are bad at, what boundaries should exist, what healing has yet to be done, etc).

Trust that there a purpose to all that you’re going through, because there is! But it’s up to you to be appropriately postured as you go through this if you want it all to mean something in the end.

You have already come a long way. Farther than you thought you could go, yet here you still are. Surviving. You are not easy to kill, and you should revel in that.

Perhaps you just need your perspective tweaked a bit. Consider that one day, when this is over, there is the potential for someone to hear your story, and by doing so they might decide to give life one more day just because you chose to be present in your suffering, and gracefully went through it with your intentions fully engaged. That’s powerful, and that is important! It should give you a sense of reason to persevere, because people are reason enough. You’ll agree one day, but just take my word for it for now if you’re lacking some luster.

It isn’t easy. I know it is easier to lie down than to stand up. But, please be encouraged to DECIDE, while in the muck, who you want to be when you get out of it, and mean it.

Love and lean on people now while it is difficult (it will teach you humility), and let them love you back and lean on you (it will teach you gratitude).

Trust that nothing in this life lasts forever. So, instead of checking out of life, check all the way in.

Remember, “…weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” – Psalms‬ ‭30:5‬ ‭

PS: If you need to talk, I am here.

In the Face of Discomfort

/ uchenna

On this rainy day, September 28, 2016, I am publicly announcing my unemployment in a proactive bid to bring it to a swift end by October 1.

You will find me standing outside of the very grand Union Station (corner of Massachusetts and 1st) or DuPont Circle/Farragut North Station in Washington D.C. every Wednesday, peacefully protesting my unemployment until I am hired. But, I shall not be empty handed either.

Yong Wook Back

In tow will be my extensively reviewed resume; reasons why hiring me is the best decision ever; and, as you may have already seen, a very handy sign board that was made by the one and only Yong Wook Back – Graphics Designer and Owner of The UPS Store #2888 (3540 Crain Highway, Bowie, MD 20716).

As you can see from his grin, he is all for me getting my dream job! This good man is a real trooper. I could write an entire post about Yong! Suffice it to say, you should definitely go out of your way to see him for all your mailing, printing and graphics design need

Getting back on track, you’re probably wondering why I have chosen to be so drastic. Well, good question, and it doesn’t surprise me that you would ask.

“Ridiculous“, “Bad Idea“, “Desperate“, “Insane” – just a few of the responses I’ve received when I started speaking out-loud about taking my job hunt to the streets. Fortunately, I have also heard other, more positive, responses such as “Brave“, “Out of the box“, “Googlish” and “Insane” (the good kind).

Despite the opinions of others (and ‘mother nature’ sending the rain), I have stuck to my guns and here I am on the streets of D.C. Before I tell you what this is about, let me first tell you what this is not about.

  • This is not about politics: While I would be absolutely thrilled for President Obama to make his way over (if he gets a lunch break today – hint hint), this is not a sneaky way of getting in a message about unemployment. In fact, I am well aware just how much the rate of unemployment has dropped during his tenure, and I salute him for it. (Okay that sounded strangely political – oh well!)
  • This is not about being miserable and/or angry: On the contrary, my time gainfully unemployed has given me plenty of room to explore my other talents and loves. I have grown spiritually. I have lost weight and gained good health (I have a waist again). I have self-taught and learned new technology. I have adopted roads and people. I have traveled parts of Asia, Africa and Europe. Things have been incredible! I could not be in a better state of mind to join a company where my exposure, great attitude and unique skills could be put to valuable use.
  • This is not about getting a favor: Ummm – I  have spent many years getting an education, and have some pretty impressive experiences that make me a really good candidate for the type of work I’m seeking. You should check out my resume. There is nothing in me that begs for ‘just any’ job. I do not want just anything. What a huge let down for a company (and an employee) to be the object of a settlement. It’s important to me that I fit into the culture of the right company. I have been selective so far, and companies should be as well. It’s like dating. I would never date just anyone for the sake of leaving the single life. Eww!
  • This is not for your entertainment (no offense): While I understand that the strangeness of my act may turn a few heads, I am pretty focused on not winding up exploiting 2 seconds of fame out of context in an MTV video – just for kicks. Finding the right match with a company and establishing my career in project management (or similar) is the bottom-line here!

This brings me to what this is really about!

My reasons are quite simple, and twofold:

  1. To garner exposure and supplement my job search strategy.
  2. To look shame in the eye and win!

Let me explain!

Recently, I heard a recruitment guru say “Job placement is about timing and exposure“. Okay, fine! I may have taken that very literally, because the time is TODAY and I am fully EXPOSED!

In fact, as far as exposure goes, I feel completely naked! I’ve never been more exposed in my life. My veil is gone – no facade to hide behind. Today my acquaintances will learn more about me than I care to disclose – that I am missing a little something. My family and friends will also. So will a ton of strangers who happen upon me in person or from following a digital trail to this post (go social media, go!).

There are so many talented people who are unemployed right now. I am really not alone. The Human Resources department (in companies) and recruitment agencies do a great job sifting through the pile of hundreds of applications from hundreds of well qualified, incredible people. In fact, they work over time. It is a hell of a job trying to disseminate truth and potential from applications and resumes – I really do not envy them.

As much as I understand their plight and just how easy it is to get lost in the shuffle, I have decided that I will no longer go unnoticed, quietly existing under the radar of hiring managers who (I know) could use my passion and uniqueness on their team. 

Someone said “Your name might be too ‘foreign looking’.” Okay! Whilst I am proud of my name, because of its beautiful meaning (God’s thoughts), I didn’t take offense. I decided to be flexible and offered ‘Chen’ as an alternative. Problem solved, right? Wrong! But that’s alright. It is all about to change. 🙂

In the time I have spent conducting a job search campaign (fancy way of saying ‘job hunting’), I have become acutely aware of the sneaky, secret monster eating away at those who are still finding their way back into the work force. In my mingling, I discovered that all around me exists these wonderful people who, whilst in my exact situation, are completely defeated, deflated and completely ashamed for being unemployed.

Quite recently, I spoke to a System Architect (brilliant fellow), who was completely frustrated and completely demoralized from his search. He had nothing good to say about anything, and I felt deeply worried and sorry for him. It is one thing to be unemployed and another to have your attitude dragged through the mud as a result. From talking further with him, I learned that the root of his sour state was beyond the stresses of providing for his family, but deeply wedged in feelings of inadequacy. With his extensive credentials and highly sought after top secret security clearance, he was battling crippling feelings of rejection. I understand completely, I can totally relate.

While I know my optimism is deeply rooted in my faith, it wasn’t too long ago that I felt the same crushing weight of despair I heard in his voice, and the voices of others who have been kind enough to share their vulnerability. The resounding message speaks to a loss of purpose from being without an official, company-assigned J.O.B.

Some of these people, I could see coming. They hunched forward. They looked down. They apologized a lot (especially the women). They seemed timid. They whispered when they spoke and quickly revealed how little they felt they had to offer. They look broken from the many blows of rejection.

Then there were others who hid their insecurities expertly under preparation, well pressed suits, bold speech and stiff upper lip. At least, until the facade is broken during probing conversations. These are the ones easily overlooked. Strong on the outside, but falling apart on the inside. I worry about them the most.

This is the real reason I am coming out of the unemployed closet. There is a certain type of silence that feeds the shame that reinforces the mention of the word ‘unemployed’ as a taboo. Life is too short to spend one second loathing any phase of ones life (even the lowly ones) thus missing the experience and its numerous lessons. I cannot list all the incredible things I have learned during this season. Things that make me more relatable and empathetic as a leader and a friend.

Let us be realistic, many adults will find themselves in a phase of unemployment at some point in life, whether it is for one day or 10 years. It is inevitable, and is not the end of the world. It does not have to define you.

Not too long ago, being unemployed defined me in a big way. I was one of those deflated and defeated! My past glories did nothing to push away the dark clouds of despair I felt when I saw others thriving at their jobs. I started thinking there was something wrong with me, even while I was busy making strides in my life (generally) and pushing myself to learn new things. I was so hard on myself! What a relief to be able to look back and know that I am no longer in that place.

Sadly, many people who are currently unemployed have yet to triumphed over their bad thought life. Despite the efforts made to actively stay current and proactively network, they only see the bottom-line of their current job status – unemployed. It robs happiness and esteem. I find it tragic, and my heart considers them daily when I pray!

So…

…here I am representing those of us who won’t be defined by our circumstances, and get up daring to do.

I am standing – in the face of embarrassment and great discomfort – to say that I am a highly skilled, creative, strong, resilient, diligent, intelligent woman with one hell of a fight in her, who just so happens to be currently (brace yourself) unemployed.

And the good news? I am available!

Check out my resume and reasons why I am the right choice.

RESUME          WHY ME

Many thanks to my friend Tiffany of SouthernSweety Photography LLC for taking my picture. 🙂